my Domina

The title of this note may seem strange, for I am a Domina/Dominatrix myself. In all things in life there is a hierarchy. There will always be someone who knows more than you do or who has a different realm of experience.

I’ve been doing Domination on and off (mostly off) for 6+ years. Last year when I made Domination my focus I decided to seek out a mentor and get some proper training. From being in films I know how to do many things from a technical standpoint but it’s very different when you have someone telling you what to do and when the responsibility lies on your shoulders to make the experience as good as it can be for another person. There are some areas in which I feel I need improvement, things I want to learn, areas in which I could use some confidence.

The next step was to select a person. It’s a big responsibility to take on. I had to be sure I chose someone I could trust and whose energy was compatible. A couple people crossed my mind and finally I asked the one I felt was best suited. After a few months of discussing it, She said yes. Before I tell you who it is, let me describe Her and why I chose Her.

I met Her on a shoot at Her dungeon. Many Dommes feel the need to be bitchy, as if that’s the only way to get respect. A lot of women in the workplace make this same mistake which is why they’re not taken seriously; they’re caricatures. We talked about our philosophies on bondage and even though we had differing opinions (i’m into rope, She’s into leather), She didn’t take offense. She was respectful of the fact that we had different opinions and backgrounds. I never felt that She looked down on me. She was different from any Domme I’d met; She was open and loving. Her energy was amazing. When She watched the scenes I did, I could feel Her enthusiasm, Her love for the lifestyle. While I am not submissive, She was someone I could see myself submitting to and learning from. At the time I felt that it would be essential for my personal growth to submit to a woman, something I’ve never done before. The few times I’ve truly submitted have been to men.

I hadn’t felt that desire since the very first time I became acquainted with the BDSM lifestyle back in 1998 when I shot with Insex. I still remember that feeling I felt after shooting with them for 2 days. The girl who was assisting (not the one that kept trying to fuck w me and make my shoot more difficult) had that same energy. I can’t remember her name, but I can still see her face and hear her voice and the lulling, comforting nature of it. I didn’t want to leave after the shoot. I wanted to stay and be with this family, live in the warehouse and make twisted toys. I know at this point that probably sounds so silly coming from me and I’ve never shared that thought publicly until now, but something about my Domina’s energy took me back to that point in time, those thoughts and feelings.

I had doubts about asking Her. She has many people who are under Her and I didn’t know what I could offer that would be worthy of Her time. Thankfully She agreed to take me under her tutelage and Our journey has recently begun. Already little tokens of advice that She has given me have helped me go through with things I might not have done. I’ve taken scenes to their full and rightful conclusions, pushing myself and my submissives to the heights we both desired but for whatever reason, mostly my own hesitation, hadn’t yet reached.

This amazingly beautiful, open and wise woman is Domina Angelina. She is someone for whom I have a lot of respect and am honoured to be aligned with not only as a mentee, but in general.

Thursday, January 20th, 2011 Blog Entries