AVN Hall of Fame Mistress & Fetish Film Star Julie Simone

Styles & Respect

I posted a comment a client said on my facebook, “Wow you are the nicest Dominatrix ever!” and someone responded – “Isn’t that saying you’re not good at your job?”

I thought this deserved a full entry. My job as I see it is not to be a rude, screaming bitch. That is some people’s style of domination. It is not, nor will it ever be mine. Yelling is not a sign of being in control, in fact it’s the opposite. If I have to resort to yelling to prove to you I’m in control, I have failed as a Domme. Everyone has their personal style. To me yelling = anger and anger has no place in a BDSM scene. For those who want a yelling, bitchy Domme, there are plenty of women who like to play that way. I probably lose some clients because of My demeanor but I do not wish to engage in play that I don’t find enjoyable. It makes for better scenes for everyone involved if I do things I enjoy.

I think it’s important for there to be a mutual respect between play partners. How can I expect you to respect Me if I do not treat you with respect? At the end of the day we are all people who are coming together because we share a common interest. That is something One should cherish. When someone comes into My personal play space I treat them as My guest. Some clients have said “You’re like the Martha Stewart of Domination”. It is true. I will offer you water or tea when you arrive and make sure you are comfortable before it is time to make you uncomfortable. Before you leave I will again make sure you are hydrated and will allow you the time to come down from O/our scene. It’s called aftercare. I have a shower subs can use. It’s akin to showering at the gym after a long, hard run. Yes, you can shower at home but that shower right after an intense physical activity leaves one feeling refreshed. I want My play partners to feel good when they leave. If this makes Me less of a Domme in your eyes so be it. This is My style and how I like to do things. It doesn’t make Me any less Dominant but it does make Me more of a real person.

Mistress Julie Simone