AVN Hall of Fame Mistress & Fetish Film Star Julie Simone

Orgasm Control

When I first started Domming I had a hard time with certain activities. I wasn’t properly trained. I knew how to use most of the implements, but I didn’t understand the psychology. Making films is completely different from doing one on one real time scenes with a connection.

The HeadMistress of the dungeon I started in couldn’t be bothered to do more than give a bitchy and unhelpful response that shattered what little confidence I had at the time. I was made to feel as if I should have known because the answer was so obvious. So I stopped asking her questions, I stumbled through sessions until I stopped doing them because I hated it. One of the things I especially hated at the time was when clients released at the end. I thought it was degrading. I didn’t feel remotely Dominant in those moments; I felt like an object, like a stripper.

Fast forward to now. After starting my own DVD line, I became more comfortable in the role of the Domme. I became a Domme, not just on film, but in reality. It was the role I identified with where before I was just acting (and I’m not a very good actress)

When I moved back to LA last August I made Domination my primary focus, I finally felt as if it was my calling. When I am Dominating someone, whether it be in session or while out at a club and doing something as simple as face slapping, ball kicking or choking, I feel alive in a way that I don’t otherwise. Lately I’ve been experimenting and expanding my interests. I’ve been thinking about things I enjoy in my regular sex life and finding ways to apply them to sessions with slight but necessary alterations.

I was in a session the other day where the sub had booked 2 hours but couldn’t take the requested activities for that long. I didn’t even think about what to do next, the scenario took on a life of its own. I made him stand up and get his cock hard for me. He was very shy and was humiliated by it. I made him take himself to the edge over and over and over again but didn’t let him orgasm, which is something I’ve done to lovers while giving a never-ending morning blowjob. Taking someone to the edge like that over and over again is hot. Getting to sit and watch and control someone’s every move, his cock, his orgasm without even laying a finger on that person is exhilarating.

I grabbed a strap on and made him follow along, varying my pace and technique and instructing him on what to do the entire time while making him look at me. I made him look into my eyes. I called him on it every time he would try to divert his attention. I made him tell me what he was thinking about while he was stroking his cock so I could use it against him and humiliate him with his own thoughts, with his own words. At one point I told him that when I finally let him cum it would either be the best orgasm of his life or he wouldn’t be able to cum at all. He was fine with taking that risk as he knew that it pleased Me to control him in this manner.

When I finally let him orgasm it wasn’t humiliating for me in any way. I was amused; I was happy. I didn’t at any time feel as if I wasn’t in control. I hadn’t lost my Dominance because that orgasm was Mine, it was exactly as I had ordered it.

Perspective changes everything.

Julie Simone

Tags: Julie Simone, orgasm control, tease and denial