AVN Hall of Fame Mistress & Fetish Film Star Julie Simone

Bondage Therapy

A lot of people have misconceptions about bondage and BDSM in general. I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to correct people in their assumption that bondage is painful. If done correctly, it shouldn’t be (unless you want it to be). Bondage and pain are not synonyms.

Someone I’ve been corresponding with for a couple years wanted me to tie him up as a part of his therapy. He was working through some past abuse that involved bondage. I refused to do it for months. In films I can come across as being vicious, but I am actually a very empathetic person. Doing something that could potentially cause someone mental anguish, even if the initial intentions are good, is something I couldn’t handle. It would affect me for months.

Recently I had a bad bdsm experience as a sub which I’ve written about. It made me think of this person. Since I had refused, he started looking for someone else to do the session. I thought about what would happen if the session didn’t go well. No one else would understand his history, they wouldn’t care or be there for him. They’d take their money and leave a broken man without a second thought. I decided I was being selfish and this was something I had to do. I made sure he talked to his therapist about the idea as well so he could get a professional opinion on the matter.

I flew to Omaha yesterday to do the session. I started him off slowly and used scarves for the first position. We worked our way up in intensity and difficulty. I threw in a nice comforting tie that had him in a fetal position with his arms tied in a self-hug so he could have a memory on which to draw where bondage gave him a nurturing loving feeling to replace the bad memories. At his request we finished with a strict hogtie. After it was over I was happy that I was the one who did it. There’s something really touching about the trust he gave me, a beautiful gift and one of the many moments in my 13 yr career that makes it all worthwhile.

Julie Simone

Tags: bdsm, bondage